Michael Crawford Daughters, Articles F

101. If I had a tail, I would wag it! How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. When you look at what some people have done for each other and compare it to what you expect. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. If you like me, send them while Im alive. Brian Clough (football team manager), I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. Clarence Darrow (lawyer), Millions long for immortality who dont know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz (author), In this world, nothing can be certain, except death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin (inventor), Life is hard. Because youre highly qualified. Youll go far someday. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. Dont let your mind wander. Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Youre a ground-hugger. I was doing great, before you came. At the end of the day, if theyre not putting in the effort to let you know theyre not interested, theyre probably not worth your time. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. 10. 1. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. Congratulations, sir. Why would you talk to someone at their convenience when they wouldnt speak to you when you needed them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_2',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? Because if you are, youre doing it right. I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. Your hair looks great! Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. What's your sign? 99. 28. but it's just so blunt and funny. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. 15. Stupidity isnt a crime. Better inside than outside. I'm so sorry I expected you to acknowledge my existence after hanging out? The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! Were already married, remember?! I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. Pick your struggle. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. They really care for you, and you better value their presence well. Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. 76. Finnish with this conversation! Privacy Policy. (Heres What To Do), Roommate Sleeps in Living Room All The Time! Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. 32. 19. Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. I will leave that up to your imagination. . 52. Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. They might even steal it to use in the future. 8. You don't need to say it. What should I doI like you too much. Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. Financially? There is no gray area (<brain matter joke): either you are brain-dead or you are not. If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. The following responses dont require wit, but do require a funny bone. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? 60. Relationship expert Susan Winter recommends gracefully leaving as the quickest and easiest way out. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. Youre free to go. Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. June 14, 2022; pros and cons of stem cell therapy for knees . Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. 92. Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. Living a life of suppressed rage, emotional imbalance, and denial. If I had a tail, I'd wag it. 41. 11. Physically? Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? Search, discover and share your favorite Still Alive GIFs. Life is up to something. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. 2. "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. Who told you that? Hi! Not everybody may appreciate them. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. Everything is always better on payday right!? Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. Is your family tree a cactus? This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. It is a basic courtesy that when one of your leads converts to a paying customer, you demonstrate your gratitude and make their transfer as smooth as possible. So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. Another way to say Still Alive? As anyone who knows anything about human biology will know, when a woman misses her period, that is a sign she is pregnant.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_13',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); Therefore, if she were to rely on your messages for her period, she would be pregnant by now. What a miracle. Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. 56. I died last week, since then. It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. Physically? I hope you are at your best too. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. 1. Like seriously, you hoped for him to be run over by a truck or something. That's boyfriend material. Everyone wants me, but no one dares! "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. 73. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. Have a nice life." This text is excellent because you are making him or her feel guilty about ghosting you. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. 5. 40. She works wit more, Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Expertise: Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty more. Passed into the next room and told me to tell you go fuck yourself. Not sure why you're asking me my age. You nervously reply "yeah, but I'm a little busy and-", only for one person to reply "um, no one asked you. "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. You just live. 2. The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. 7. No one loves superheroes. Keep talking. 79. Thank you, it made my day. Maybe you can Google it. 95. Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. 58. Maybe they had a giant project at work and lost contact with all their friends and loved ones. Learn more about us here. I agree, thanks for sharing. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? What? 26. No, not really. Not bad. 80. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." Awwits so cute when you talk about things you dont understand. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? Well, are you? 82. Hmmph. 47. Holy s**t, you can see me?! I always root for the little guy. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. But, whats the likelihood of that happening? [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. There is plenty of room. 7. Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. Going strong. Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct? but that was before I read Fred's comment below. 18. Checklists & Reminders! What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? Required fields are marked *. Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. Usually, people live and learn. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. The hottest single of the year is me. 30. It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. Did someone leave your cage open? Funny as phuck. Some of us are just destined to walk this world alone. Don Draper? Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. In fact, they're taking too much of it. Im not single. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. still alive 810 GIFs. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. What do you say when people ask you that? Hopefully, youll stay there. I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. TikTok video from Mark Winston (@markwinstonbball): "Are you still alive? It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. *Siri activates front camera*. When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. Because you havent put a ring on it yet. 69. Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? 78. Being single is much better than being married. Id punch you in the face, but the thought of touching your face disgusts me. He sold it to me on his deathbed. That's impossible. The best I can be. 14. "Yeah, you're three years late. Don't Push It Too Far. Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. It's all about confidence. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. It's best part of the whole movie. Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. I suggest you do a little soul searching. I only fall in love with anime characters. 3. Shane from The L Word? Are those space pants? 3. parkerbilly 3 yr. ago. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." funny response to are you still alive 09 June 2022. no disease, including cancer, can exist in an alkaline environment / siberian husky mask types Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. I'm alive, whoa! The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. So the next time someone asks you why you're still. 2. Good luck feel free to drop me a comment below if you have any funny responses I should add to the list, and do let me know if you get any memorable responses back. Ah, sarcasm. Everyone has a different sense of humor. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. You just have bad luck at thinking. I dont think youre stupid. 42. 2. Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. Because Im awkward and ugly. Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. How impressive! And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! 59. 10. 100. 1. Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" You may join me, though. But, compared to messaging, pigeons are much slower. Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. Another common excuse that younger people tend to give when they take a long time to reply is Ive been busy with uni. Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual." I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. 4. Some people spend all their time on their phone. I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. What an impertinent question to ask a girl! You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. How do you think that I am doing? Your email address will not be published. I really thought you already knew. There's no reason why you should have to express emotions to whoever asked. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. 97. 1. Stop joking! You were a young man when you last spoke. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". Although for some, traveling to your partner might not be an option. Unlikely, but worth a shot. It must have been a long, lonely journey. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. Even if life is rough, be happy that you're still alive. Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. Youre not as bad as everyone says. And it's time for me to make my escape. A real low-life. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? Theyre not replying to you, but theyre posting on Twitter. Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality . You speak as if youre not single yourself! This was one of the quickest ways there was to send a message from one person to another. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Oh, what a long list. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! I favour the "How am I what?" Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? 5. 75. It lets him know that you love spending time together. Shooting yourself in front of the person who asked. - Anonymous. Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. Steven Wright (comedian). I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. The data will take longer to reach Earth than it would if it was sent from someone on Earth. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. 68. Do you have a minute? is perfect for lunch-time banter with colleagues. Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. No, waitIm actually plural. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Sorry, life. Could have been worse, right. Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. 5. Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. Once youre dead, youre made for life. Jimi Hendrix (musician), Death will be a great relief, no more interviews. Katharine Hepburn (actress), Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men. Herodotus (historian), You know youre old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope (comedian), Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. EW Howe (author), There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing. 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party. How do you usually respond to the question? original sound - Tyren Sams. Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine.